On My Own
by Glitter's Infatuation
Summary: More song fics [sorry] from me again using Les Mis [sorry]. This time, I’m using the song ‘On My Own’ :) In this fic Satine is on a bit of a midnight stroll, and she thinks about Christian and the Moulin Rouge in general. Please R&R!


DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters they all belong to Baz [All I want is Christian, Satine and the elephant *puppy dog eyes* pweeeze?]  
  
PLOT: More song fics [sorry] from me again using Les Mis [sorry]. This time, I'm using the song 'On My Own' :) In this fic Satine is on a bit of a midnight stroll, and she thinks about Christian and the Moulin Rouge in general.   
  
On My Own  
  
By Glitter's Infatuation

Satine sighed to herself as she walked the dusty streets of Montmartre. The Parisian night was full of stars and a warm breeze softly lifted her crimson curls. Drunken absinthe-induced men wolf whistled to the lithe figure clad in startling red satin; who seemed oblivious to everyone and everything around her. In Satine's mind, all she could see was Christian, and that was all she wanted to see.

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And now I'm all alone again  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to  
Without a home, without a friend  
Without a face to say hello to  
And now the night is near  
And I can make believe he's here

Walking with Christian was the one thing Satine wanted to do most of all. Just to hold hands and to enjoy the night together, instead of hiding behind curtains, meeting secretly and only being able to speak during the day, but then only without emotion. Satine wished for a friend to talk to, to confide in, but when you lived at the Moulin Rouge, you were your only friend. Yes, Marie was almost like a mother, but if you ever told her something that might disrupt the Rouge, it went straight to Harold, and that usually led to the streets. 

  
_Sometimes I walk alone at night  
When everybody else is sleeping  
I think of him and then I'm happy  
With the company I'm keeping  
The city goes to bed  
And I can live inside my head_

The night belonged to Satine. She was the Queen of the Stars, Princess of the Night and Lady of the Moonlight. As far as Satine was concerned, the light revealed the truth. In the dark and shadows, the Diamond Dogs could appeal to any man with a roving eye, but in the day their true natures were shown. In the night, away from distractions, Satine could live the life she wanted to live, a pure life, and an honest life.

  
_On my own pretending he's beside me  
All alone, I walk with him till morning  
Without him, I feel his arms around me  
And when I lose my way I close my eyes  
And he has found me_

Closing her eyes, Satine leaned gently on the wall and smiled softly as her own Christian image kissed her gently on the lips, and then laughed his boyish laugh as she twirled under the starlight's gaze.

  
_In the rain, the pavement shines like silver  
All the lights are misty in the river  
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight  
And all I see is him and me  
Forever and forever_

Fantasy Christian grabbed Satine's hand and whisked her amongst the rooftops and to the stars, where the moon serenaded them and they danced until the sun rose high over the rooftops, singing a song just for her.

  
_And I know, it's only in my mind  
That I'm talking to myself and not to him  
And although I know that he is blind  
Still I say there's a way for us  
I love him, but when the night is over  
He is gone, the river's just a river  
Without him, the world around me changes  
The trees are bare and everywhere  
The streets are full of strangers_

A drunk stumbled into Satine, knocking her to the cold floor and shattering her perfect image. As she glared at her intruder, he grinned evilly and rasped,

'Fancy a good time sweet'eart?'

Satine was mortified. She scrambled on her hands and knees away from his wandering hands that now were trying to grasp the air. Choking back a sob, Satine pulled herself up and ran as fast as she could to the Rouge, not caring that everyone could see her. Once in her dressing room, the elephant was too open and impersonal, she sobbed into her hands and she crouched on the floor against the heavy wooden door to stop unwelcome intruders.

  
_I love him, but every day I'm learning  
All my life, I've only been pretending  
Without me, his world will go on turning  
A world that's full of happiness  
That I have never known_

She would never know true happiness; Satine knew the risks too well. But when she was with Christian, the world as she knew it faded away like her fantasy life. But it could never

be how she wanted; could never be open and honest and true. When her crying subsided, Satine pulled herself together and gracefully crossed the grand dance hall back to her elephant. Standing on the balcony of the elephant, she could just make out Christian typing on his typewriter. She smiled a sad smile and closed her eyes again, letting her perfect fantasy world take over.  


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I love him  
I love him  
I love him  
But only on my own  



End file.
